Managing Relationships Paper

Managing Relationships Paper

BSCOM/234

Managing Relationships Paper

One of the most intense emotions known to human beings is love. While there are many kinds of love, the most common way to express this love is in a relationship. Relationships are defined as an established connection created when communicating with another person (256). We build relationships with ourselves, our family members, friends, and those we plan on spending the rest of our lives with. How we managing and develop all these relationships takes care and communication. In this paper, I will write about the relationship I currently have with a family member and the current stage, improvements to be made, and how this can be managed.

The relationship I am writing about is the one I have with my Mother. My Mother gave birth to me and I have known her since the day I was born. She is loving, compassionate, caring and supportive, but she can also be short-tempered and judgmental at times. My Mother grew up as a Pastor’s daughter with a very strict and religious upbringing. She then joined the military and became a Pastor’s wife, our family has moved every three years, she has served in the War in Afghanistan, and retired in 2014. I love my Mother but was not as close to her because she has always had a strong soldier mentality.

At this point in our relationship, I feel we are developing at the exploration stage with one another. It is during this developmental stage of exploration that my Mother and I begin to share more in-depth information about ourselves (265). I have seen that our communication has become so much easier, actually it is the easiest it has ever been amongst us. We have both discovered that distance waters our relationship and it blossoms like flowers in the season of Spring. We love and enjoy the time we spend together, but it is much better to have limited the amount of time together. For instance, after spending two days of the week with my Mother I am okay to take a break and see her the next week for three days.

One factor that was holding us back and causing the relationship to be short term was our fear. I would not open up in fear of judgment, as my Mother’s words can sometimes come off very harsh even though she would mean them to be helpful. She would not open up in fear of me not respecting her as a Mother, and treating her like more of a friend than a Mother. On the other hand, one factor that has led to our relationship being long term is actively listening. With time and effort, we have both entered a place where we are able listen to one another and have an open-mind when it comes to talking through life situations.

The closest type of power relationship that matches ours would be the parallel relationship. In a parallel relationship, the shift of power shifts back and forth depending on the situation (259). Beebe uses the example of video games and pizza to better explain this type of relationship. You may look to your friend to choose a video game because they know everything about them; whereas, choosing a pizza for your time together may be your choice as you may be the pizza connoisseur. While this could have caused some initial conflict, both become comfortable with their roles in the end (259). This reminds me of my Mother and I, we both have our roles as Mother and daughter. While this may have caused some initial conflict, we have become comfortable with our roles in the end.

Attraction in a relationship is important as it is essentially the beginning of forming of maintaining a relationship. I feel that if I am not attracted to someone then I am not drawn to forming a relationship with them. My attraction is not only physical, but it can be spiritual, emotional, or mental connections as well. Power in a relationship as it balanced amongst both partners and establish which roles suit who. For example, if I am good with numbers but my husband is a handyman; I will handle the finances while my husband will fix the little things around the house and improve our home. Most people do not like to think that someone has power over them, but power is a balancing act in each relationship that is handled differently.

One area that I can see the relationship improving is remaining consistent with the open communication we have with each other. We sometimes do not remain consistent going down the path that has led us to where we are now. One of us realizes this and we agree, talk, focus, and listen to one another to get back on the path to developing our relationship. Another way to improve a relationship is spending less time with electronics and actually spending quality time with that person. This way, you make an emotional and human connection, rather than swiping left online.

I believe that responding with discussion and responding with forgiveness are the two main strategies I will use in managing this relationship. During the responding with discussion strategy, both parties must agree to discuss the issue and come to terms with the decision. It is important to clarify expectations and move forward in the relationship after this discussion. During the responding with forgiveness strategy, both parties must prove their open-mindedness towards the discussion and showing an effort to forgive one another and move forward. In developing your response, it is important to be honest and consider how much you are to blame in the situation – taking accountability for your actions (285). In escalating intimacy, I would look to see what the next steps are to evolve and grow together to the next stage. In maintaining the intimacy, I believe consistency is key and continuing this intimacy level will be the most helpful in this challenge. In decreasing intimacy, I would revisit the last two stages to see if there was anything missed that could be tackled and mastered again before moving back to the current stage. This does not mean you have to end the intimacy or relationship altogether.

Relationships are constantly evolving through the different stages and challenges we all encounter in life. It is up to us to manage our relationships to the best of our abilities, and tackle the challenges that we may face. Relationships are not easy, but they are sure worth it. Open communication and honesty helped me get through my relationship challenges. It is beyond perfect but it is mine and I would not give up fighting for it any day.

References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond. M. V. (n.d.) Bookshelf Online. Retrieved November15, 2018, from https://phoenix.vitalsource.com/#/books/9781323104835/cfi/6/36!/4/18@0:52.6