Marriages and relationships at large are very complex institutions that require mutual consent of the two partners. As much as many people dismiss them a simple, consequences come later when the two people can’t agree on the issues facing them (Keenan, 2011). As far as experience goes, no relationship is perfect and none will ever be. People should clearly know the reason they are entering a lifelong relationship. I belief they should also be mature enough and be well advised especially when entering a marriage institution since they are in a better position to make informed decisions. This avoids issues and improves relationship sustainability by a wide margin. More can be noted from Dr Gottman “The Love Lab” video.
Relationships that lasts many years are a little tricky for many people and are easily managed through through communication and honesty as Dr Gottman tries to analyze them before talking to couples. Honesty has proven to be the core of many successful relationships as he advises. I agree with him fully. Many people look up to him to solve the problems in their marriages. From the many years he has been doing this, he has come to a conclusion that this is one of the few ways that a relationship can be sustained. He bases most of his findings and advice on scientific principles and as we know by now, they are all carefully tested and found to be worthy as demonstrated in his analysis. Having couples undergo all tests and questions asked so that they can get their valuable feedback is very critical. He can know when someone is cheating so that he can advise the accordingly.
The love lab video in itself is very insightful and encouraging. The dedication that people in it gives to make other people’s relationships work is very commendable. The video demonstrates that marriage should never be given up on even if the relationship is headed to the rocks. It helps bring back the love and bond that was there initially when it started. This is clearly shown by the visitors who leave the center with a smiling face. This is commendable and i like the video. It is worth sharing with everyone that needs a new lease of life in their relationship and especially marriage since not all are perfect. At some point, issues arise and addressing them is the key to each relationship. I felt the video is the best thing in any relationship and i recommend it to everyone who is married. The professionalism in how every aspect is handled is very encouraging. Visitors who visit the center are made to feel that their issues is going to be resolved. As much as it is more of scientific through taking heartbeat rate and many more, it tries to bring out the human aspect very well and gives a valid reason for each step undertaken.
As much as relationships are, there is no specific formula to working it out and making it work and sustainable. Dr Gottman and people like him play a very important role in bringing couples together and saving many relationships as he applies the formula he knows best. I think the main formula in a relationship is couples going back to what made them happy at first and finally made them get married to one another. There’s not really one specific universal formula for a relationship. The only key in it is communication but saying that is the formula is an overstatement since some couples communicate on a regular basis but still don’t end up in the best of terms. Dr Gottman is not the only formula but only one of the formulas to a relationship working.
Very many scholars just like Dr Gottman have put forward they ideas to help build the knowledge base on this institution of marriage and they all agree on one thing; there is a solution to each problem in marriage. (Bessey, 2015) put forward his ideas and they agree with Dr Gottman’s ideas. Concealing, understanding, love and communication are the key issues he addresses. These are exactly the issues he discusses and they seem to perfectly agree with him. Bessey goes ahead to give recommendations on how to keep marriage and many relationships alive even when there are no issues in it. He proposes vacations and spending more time with the partner as it makes the relationship more sustainable. In my opinion, this also agrees with the issues put forward in the video.
Another scholar takes a religious approach to it and decides to tackle it basing on the Christian religion he is well knowledgeable in. In his journal, Ssenyondo gives his explanations on how to build a successful marriage relationship when based on Christian values. He encourages couples to pray together and be of the same religion by all means possible since they will increase their base of understanding. Going to church together increases their bond as a family and thus keeping their relationship strong. He also goes ahead to include customary marriage which takes into account the people that are not that religious. These people are well catered for in this journal. (Keenan, 2011) also agrees with his point of view. This journal agrees with the video though it decides to take a different perspective to tackling relationship sustainability.
In conclusion, there are many scholars who have put forward ideas and varying opinions on relationships. They all seem to agree that communication is the key to the success and sustainability of any relationship. Some authors went religious, others cultural and the video decides to go scientific relying on data from the many couples Dr Gottman has been with in the past. All are viable if well agree on and the best one chosen as all can’t work for everyone. Some people might not like visiting Dr Gottman as do not want to tell anyone their issues. Such a couple will want to resort to other means. At the end of the day, couples should choose what works best for them. People are different and should always look at the reason they got married to go over obstacles that come in marriage or any other relationship.
Keenan, J. F. (2011). Catholic theological ethics, past, present, and future: The Trento conference. Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books.
3 The Marriage Process. (n.d.). Marriage in the Book of Tobit.
Marriage Counseling. (n.d.). SpringerReference.
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