ENG100 week 4 – Communication



Communication is defined as the exchange of information from one person to another. It is done through mediums and channels. Mediums of communication include writing, speaking and gestures. Without communication, day to day activities could be hard to work on that why it is important to focus on using effective communication strategies. Technology has brought about great impact and evolution of communication methods. Technological channels include telegram, fax, telephone and emails. Communication is also the major factor to use while resolving conflict. The main objective of this paper is to discuss ways in which communication helps couples in resolving conflicts. That is, self-awareness and understanding partners interests, generating a list of priorities and lastly remaining calm and avoiding revenge.

First, couple can resolve conflicts by effective communication in a relationship. Conflict requires a high degree of self-awareness and objective understanding of partners’ personality (Coleman, 2011). However, not all communication styles such as assertive, passive and aggressive work in all situations but if one is not getting through to the other using a communication style then it’s time to rethink and change their communication style. Communication can either be direct by explicitly stating the problem or indirect by alluding the problem through humor, sarcasm or teasing (Wynn & Schulttler, 2012). It can also involve either cooperation by focusing on the problem or opposition by focusing on the partners’ behavior. For example, if you find yourself arguing with a hot-tempered person you may need to consider changing the communication style from aggressive to passive till his or her tempers cool. Understanding the person, you are dealing with should be your first step in effective communication.

Next, another way to resolve conflict is to generate a list of priorities. According to Wynn & Schulttler (2012), the couple should generate a list of priorities before talking to the other person. This mainly helps on noting on the important things to talk about for example you need to talk about more important thing at work followed by less important things at the right time and place. Use of this person will make the partner feel respected since by prioritizing important things it would be very difficult to miscommunicate. It involves one being at their best behavior and courteous to discuss matters constructively (Wynn & Schulttler, 2012). Listing out things to talk about also ensures that the important things and the causes of the conflict are talked out without leaving out unsolved issues (Coleman, 2011). One should try to take personal history and personality out of the equations much as possible. The key thing should be thinking about the root of the problem and what specifically need to be changed. Couples should be very keen to know what to communicate and what not to communicate.

Lastly, another way to resolve conflict is to remain calm and avoid revenge situations. It helps solve conflicts since tempers will always stand in the way of working through differences (Coleman, 2011). The goal is to make peace with each other and not revenge. Incase tempers take control then one should respectively communicate to the other through a mediator that they should both take some time to calm down (Wynn & Schulttler, 2012). Then they should agree on a time and place to discuss and solve the conflict. To solve the conflict, one should try to stay calm by remembering that settling the conflict is the goal and not proving a point. Asking the other party to help come up with ways to solve the problem also helps take off some pressure which helps one relax. This is also one of the important way to avoid conflicts.


Engleberg I. Wynn D. & Schulttler R. (2012) working in groups: communication strategies and principles. Boston, Houghton Mifflin. 6th edition.


Peter T. Coleman (2011). The five percent: Finding solutions to seemingly impossible conflicts. ISBN 078-1-58648-921-2

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