Empathetic Listening Scenario

COM 295

Business Communication

Empathetic Listening Defined

Empathic listening can be described as a way of listening and responding to another person who is sharing an issue, experience, or problem they may be facing. This form of listening enhances mutual understanding and trust between the two communicators. Empathetic listening requires paying attention to another person while demonstrating compassion, feeling, and insight. The basic principle of empathetic listening is to seek to understand, before being understood. It is important to keep in mind the following when someone is sharing with you:

Avoid disruptive behaviors while the person is speaking (no cell phones, side conversations, TV, etc.).

Refrain from forming your own opinions and being judgmental.

Do not minimize or trivialize what the speaker’s saying.

Read the speaker and observe the emotions behind the words, noticing non-verbal cues and body language. Respond to the emotion as well as the words.

Be silent, allowing them to speak, without having an immediate reply. If you allow for some quiet time after the speaker has vented, they may break the silence and think of a solution on their own. This also allows for breakthrough to occur within the speaker.

Assure you understand by asking clarifying questions and restate what you perceive the speaker to be saying.

Empathetic Listening Scenario

I have experienced many situations in my life that have required me to be an active and empathetic listener. My current position requires me to not only be an active listener in all that I do, but also an empathetic listener. I am often told I am very easy to talk to because I listen with an open mind and heart, I am transparent and relatable. My life is an open book and do not hesitate to share my experiences with others as I feel that by sharing my testimony, I can help others.

I would consider myself to be an empathetic listener. Patiently listening, decipohering and giving sound advice to challenging situations others are experiencing in their lives is something I am quite good at. I enjoy offering any relevant experience I may have that could help them navigate through their circumstance. I enjoy helping others work through their feelings and come up with a plan of action so they feel they are doing something, rather than feeling stuck and hopeless about the situation. When interacting with others, I focus on actively engaging in the conversation by using nonverbal cues (head nodding, facial expressions, etc.). I am “present” in the moment and block out distractions. I also wait for the right moment to ask a clarifying questions.

So, when a friend came to me to share with me that her marriage was falling apart, I felt I would be the perfect person to provide support and an empathetic, listening ear. I did everything I could to be there for her. As I reflect on this scenario, I must say, I could have been a better empathetic listener. While listening to her situation, I found myself being critical of her situation and forming an answer or conclusion to her problem when she really just needed me to listen to her vent, cry and allow her to feel her feelings without offering my opinion at that time. Before hearing her story in its entirety, I was thinking about advice I could give her based on my situation and what I had been through, instead of really listening to her, how she felt and what she wanted to do pertaining to her situation.

I definitely conveyed to my friend that I cared about her dilemma through my words, actions, and commitment our friendship. I have known her for years and am invested in her well-being. Because of that, I care deeply for her, her daughter and her situation that has caused her pain and heartbreak. I made myself available day and night for months. I was available when she called, anytime. I allowed her to stay in my home after her husband asked her to leave their home they shared. I allowed my life to be interrupted and inconvenienced just to help her and show her how much I cared.

There were many factors that affected my listening performance. I had recently divorced myself (within the past 2 years) and was still sorting through my many emotions. Although my divorce had not been that recent, I was still dealing with the aftermath that came with it. My friend shared that dishonesty and infidelity was a factor in them seperating. This was a topic that hit close to home for me as this was the basis for my divorce. It was incredibly difficult to hear that she was now going through the same thing. Instead of really listening and focusing on her, I was focused on my feelings about everything I had experienced, and the pain associated with that.

Another factor that affected my listening was how close I was to this friend. This caused me to be too emotionally invested in her life and well-being. It is difficult seeing someone you care for so much endure such tremendous pain and suffering. It is instinctual to want fix everything and help take the pain away. I could not do that. She had to go through all the stages of emotions and cope the way she knew how and not the way I handled my emotions in my situation.

One last factor that hindered my ability to be an effective empathetic listener was seeing the affect it was having on her daughter. I have three children myself and I know how hard my divorce was on them. I had to take a year off of work, so we could all heal.

I learned a lot from that experience and have adjusted my listening skills to be a better empathic listener. While it is ok to share personal experiences, it is important to remember that sometimes you may be too close to the situation to provide an objective opinion. It is also okay and sometimes necessary to think about a situation before reacting or giving advice. I often take time reflect when I am faced with a difficult situation or decision I must make. I will “sleep on it” before taking any action. Oftentimes, things look and feel different the next day. I can better assess the facts of the situation and rationally come up with a plan of action that is far more effective than if I had reacted immediately.

References

Effective Listening Skills: Listening to What You Hear.” Films Media Group, 1992, fod.infobase.com/PortalPlaylists.aspx?wID=18566&xtid=8478. Accessed 27 Mar. 2018.

Armstrong, T. (Director). (2012). Communication Counts [Video file]. CRM Learning. Retrieved from Academic Video Online: Premium database. 

https://ecampus.phoenix.edu/secure/aapd/SB/COM295/Week_2_Narrative_Assignment/presentation_html5.html.